Neil Dawson
UTC Legend
Prime Time Crime Time
After thirty long years of waiting, doomed Spanish soap-opera Eldorado can finally justifiably state it is no longer the worst showing on BBC prime time tv. That honour now sits firmly with AFC Bournemouth who took us on a slow scenic railway journey from mediocrity to clueless in 96 minutes to forget on the Beeb tonight.
So much had changed, the strange sites of hasmats in the 'crowd', drinks breaks, piped crowd noise, black lives matters protests - it was a surreal experience and the watching fans craved normality. Thankfully the players had that covered and rolled the clock back to pre-covid days with a clueless, dispassionate, limp performance that took us back to the halcyon early 2020 days of Bush fires and floods. For 96 reassuring minutes it was like this bug had never happened........
Eddie started with Brooks back playing off Callum with King relegated wide again to his obvious frustration and Harry on the other flank where he has looked so lost for most of the year. The rest of the side was as expected with maybe the exception of Cook ahead of Gosling.
The game lacked energy and zip from the off aside from the odd nice touch from Brooks and some comfortable play from Lerma. From pretty early on you could see that we were still set up to counter-attack and any hopes Eddie would have used the extended break to commit more men forwards was quickly ruled out. He was sticking to the game-plan of the last two years. Palace are a similar counter attacking side (just with a better defence) and Zaha cut in and shot just over on their first break.
The early goal we didn't want to conceded came when Brooks nudged Zaha on the edge of the area. MILIVOJEVIC is a renowned free-kick taker and his execution with his right foot was superb catching Ramsdale slightly on his back foot as the ball bent and dipped into the top corner. Bournemouth looked shell-shocked - no other side can fall behind so often to a first shot on target. Its a real sucker punch and it showed as the team settled into a pattern of awful passing and lack of movement.
The worst thing that could have happenned was a crushing second blow but it came. Harry Wilson's inability to track an overlap is so well documented it was probably in the Doomsday book and he reverted to type to allow an intricate move to completely catch him out down the left and AYEW to score with ease on Van Aaholts pull back. It was game-over really, we knew it, the players knew it - only Crystal Palace and the watching millions had hope of a come-back.
The first half played out in a predictable pattern (bored writing this hope you are not bored reading it) with nothing to report. No shots on target once again in a first half.
HT Bournemouth 0 Palace 2
The second half saw Harry give way for Danjuma and he looked lively to be fair in places. Unfortunately Palace had absolutely no reason to attack having found themselves in the rare position of scoring twice. That gave us a lot of possession against a deep sitting team - guaranteed Bournemouth frustration.
The players came and went - King limped off probably never to be seen again, which brought the goal machine Solanke to the touch-line, bouncing up and down like a horse racing jockey and with all the same aerial ability. He was soon on and had one moment where the goal loomed, his moment beckoned - that prime time TV thunderbolt he had dreamed of since a kid. The nation shuffled towards the edge of its sofas.... Bournemouth fans picked up the newspaper......Dom made his usual mangled foot connection with the ball that just about made the touch-line somewhere between the corner flag and the goal-post.
The only threat, Brooks, dropped with cramp and was replaced with Stan enjoying an injury free spell since March.
That left one question. Would Bournemouth complete another game without a shot on target? There's been a few and its always an impressive stat for a home side. It was looking likely then Ake ruined it, rising above Cahill to cushion a soft header straight into the hands of the keeper.
After that Palace spent the game running into the corner flag and Bournemouth spent the game passing to them. Zaha and Cahill missed good chances to make it worse - thankfully they didn't. That brought an end to a game so bad that even though i've had my refund and didn't use petrol I still feel cheated.
FT Bournemouth 0 Palace 2
Ramsdale 6 - Maybe could have got a better hand to the first goal - not much else to do.
Stacey 5 - Never comfortable against Zaha and no cover from Harry
Cook 6 - Pretty intimidated by Benteke but held firm
Ake 6 - Good football playing out from the back
Smith 5 - Too often cutting in and not great for the second goal.
Harry Wilson 4 - Obviously has to play.... there can be no other reason.
Lerma 6 - Battled hard and looks like he wants to win at least. Misplaced passing.
Cook 5 - some nice plays but he didn't dominate the game.
King 4 - just not interested that wide and deep - and wasted.
Brooks 7 - Some nice touches but tired early.
C. Wilson 4 - Poor touch, uninvolved - game play does not suit him.
(Danjuma 6 nice touches, Solanke 5, Stan 5)
MOM - I am going to give it to Brooks - he wasn't great but he showed some entertainment.
Verdict
I was struggling to get enthusiasm for this game. I've been so bored watching us this year but was hoping that it would have changed. The problem was - deep down - I knew it wouldn't have. Once Eddie gets on a thing it is so difficult for him to change it. I hoped that he would go back to the high pitch possession, overlapping risk taking football that made him God here but I feared that he would persevere with sitting deep and trying to play on the break. Surely he had the mind-break and the time to try something different. He didn't. Clearly the players don't get it either which means for the first time in Eddie's reigns we have players playing below their ability and not above it as so often before. That's sad to watch and it clearly bewilders him which is also sad to watch.
So what went wrong. A few things - which seem obvious to me and worries me why they are not obvious to our coaching team.
1) If you want to play on the break pace is key. Having only one player in your front four with pace and playing him deep means this will never work - and it didn't.
2) Playing two right footed players on your left flank will mean the play will continually come in field and compress. We were absymal on that flank all game - but Smith and King are two of our best players - they are just being wasted tactically. Meanwhile £20m of left-backs sat in the stand.
3) Harry Wilson has shown time and time again he is not a wide player in the PL both offensively and defensively. Why have we not spotted this? Lampard had him sussed and sat him behind the forwards where his slide-rule passing and thunderbolt shots come to the fore. We have wasted his loan all season.
4) Callum Wilson has contributed nothing much this season. King is a much more lively centre-forward if you want to play on the break....we could have gone with King up top and Danjuma and Brooks in a three, Lerma, Cook and Gosling behind them. Now it looks like we may be without Josh anyway - kicked off the pitch in a wide midfield role.
5) If you want to play defensively you need a strong defence as you will be inviting people on. We have never had a good defensive record so for us to do it means we concede the same amount of goals as when we were gung-ho just without scoring any at the other end. It is also mind-numbingly boring. I don't even like watching my football team anymore!
Three months of thought, planning - an opportunity to turn it all around and nothing changed. All the same mistakes, nothing picked up by the analysts or the coaches no partnerships just eleven players playing a system that doesn't suit them and they clearly don't like.
Thats the recipe for relegation. I keep hoping for change but if we didn't get it after three months of reflection I can't see it coming for Wednesday. Our only hope, and I'm determined to leave this report on a hope is that at least after a performance this bad we might rip up the book. A hard fought unlucky defeat and we wouldn't have. Come on Eddie - go back to your roots man.
After thirty long years of waiting, doomed Spanish soap-opera Eldorado can finally justifiably state it is no longer the worst showing on BBC prime time tv. That honour now sits firmly with AFC Bournemouth who took us on a slow scenic railway journey from mediocrity to clueless in 96 minutes to forget on the Beeb tonight.
So much had changed, the strange sites of hasmats in the 'crowd', drinks breaks, piped crowd noise, black lives matters protests - it was a surreal experience and the watching fans craved normality. Thankfully the players had that covered and rolled the clock back to pre-covid days with a clueless, dispassionate, limp performance that took us back to the halcyon early 2020 days of Bush fires and floods. For 96 reassuring minutes it was like this bug had never happened........
Eddie started with Brooks back playing off Callum with King relegated wide again to his obvious frustration and Harry on the other flank where he has looked so lost for most of the year. The rest of the side was as expected with maybe the exception of Cook ahead of Gosling.
The game lacked energy and zip from the off aside from the odd nice touch from Brooks and some comfortable play from Lerma. From pretty early on you could see that we were still set up to counter-attack and any hopes Eddie would have used the extended break to commit more men forwards was quickly ruled out. He was sticking to the game-plan of the last two years. Palace are a similar counter attacking side (just with a better defence) and Zaha cut in and shot just over on their first break.
The early goal we didn't want to conceded came when Brooks nudged Zaha on the edge of the area. MILIVOJEVIC is a renowned free-kick taker and his execution with his right foot was superb catching Ramsdale slightly on his back foot as the ball bent and dipped into the top corner. Bournemouth looked shell-shocked - no other side can fall behind so often to a first shot on target. Its a real sucker punch and it showed as the team settled into a pattern of awful passing and lack of movement.
The worst thing that could have happenned was a crushing second blow but it came. Harry Wilson's inability to track an overlap is so well documented it was probably in the Doomsday book and he reverted to type to allow an intricate move to completely catch him out down the left and AYEW to score with ease on Van Aaholts pull back. It was game-over really, we knew it, the players knew it - only Crystal Palace and the watching millions had hope of a come-back.
The first half played out in a predictable pattern (bored writing this hope you are not bored reading it) with nothing to report. No shots on target once again in a first half.
HT Bournemouth 0 Palace 2
The second half saw Harry give way for Danjuma and he looked lively to be fair in places. Unfortunately Palace had absolutely no reason to attack having found themselves in the rare position of scoring twice. That gave us a lot of possession against a deep sitting team - guaranteed Bournemouth frustration.
The players came and went - King limped off probably never to be seen again, which brought the goal machine Solanke to the touch-line, bouncing up and down like a horse racing jockey and with all the same aerial ability. He was soon on and had one moment where the goal loomed, his moment beckoned - that prime time TV thunderbolt he had dreamed of since a kid. The nation shuffled towards the edge of its sofas.... Bournemouth fans picked up the newspaper......Dom made his usual mangled foot connection with the ball that just about made the touch-line somewhere between the corner flag and the goal-post.
The only threat, Brooks, dropped with cramp and was replaced with Stan enjoying an injury free spell since March.
That left one question. Would Bournemouth complete another game without a shot on target? There's been a few and its always an impressive stat for a home side. It was looking likely then Ake ruined it, rising above Cahill to cushion a soft header straight into the hands of the keeper.
After that Palace spent the game running into the corner flag and Bournemouth spent the game passing to them. Zaha and Cahill missed good chances to make it worse - thankfully they didn't. That brought an end to a game so bad that even though i've had my refund and didn't use petrol I still feel cheated.
FT Bournemouth 0 Palace 2
Ramsdale 6 - Maybe could have got a better hand to the first goal - not much else to do.
Stacey 5 - Never comfortable against Zaha and no cover from Harry
Cook 6 - Pretty intimidated by Benteke but held firm
Ake 6 - Good football playing out from the back
Smith 5 - Too often cutting in and not great for the second goal.
Harry Wilson 4 - Obviously has to play.... there can be no other reason.
Lerma 6 - Battled hard and looks like he wants to win at least. Misplaced passing.
Cook 5 - some nice plays but he didn't dominate the game.
King 4 - just not interested that wide and deep - and wasted.
Brooks 7 - Some nice touches but tired early.
C. Wilson 4 - Poor touch, uninvolved - game play does not suit him.
(Danjuma 6 nice touches, Solanke 5, Stan 5)
MOM - I am going to give it to Brooks - he wasn't great but he showed some entertainment.
Verdict
I was struggling to get enthusiasm for this game. I've been so bored watching us this year but was hoping that it would have changed. The problem was - deep down - I knew it wouldn't have. Once Eddie gets on a thing it is so difficult for him to change it. I hoped that he would go back to the high pitch possession, overlapping risk taking football that made him God here but I feared that he would persevere with sitting deep and trying to play on the break. Surely he had the mind-break and the time to try something different. He didn't. Clearly the players don't get it either which means for the first time in Eddie's reigns we have players playing below their ability and not above it as so often before. That's sad to watch and it clearly bewilders him which is also sad to watch.
So what went wrong. A few things - which seem obvious to me and worries me why they are not obvious to our coaching team.
1) If you want to play on the break pace is key. Having only one player in your front four with pace and playing him deep means this will never work - and it didn't.
2) Playing two right footed players on your left flank will mean the play will continually come in field and compress. We were absymal on that flank all game - but Smith and King are two of our best players - they are just being wasted tactically. Meanwhile £20m of left-backs sat in the stand.
3) Harry Wilson has shown time and time again he is not a wide player in the PL both offensively and defensively. Why have we not spotted this? Lampard had him sussed and sat him behind the forwards where his slide-rule passing and thunderbolt shots come to the fore. We have wasted his loan all season.
4) Callum Wilson has contributed nothing much this season. King is a much more lively centre-forward if you want to play on the break....we could have gone with King up top and Danjuma and Brooks in a three, Lerma, Cook and Gosling behind them. Now it looks like we may be without Josh anyway - kicked off the pitch in a wide midfield role.
5) If you want to play defensively you need a strong defence as you will be inviting people on. We have never had a good defensive record so for us to do it means we concede the same amount of goals as when we were gung-ho just without scoring any at the other end. It is also mind-numbingly boring. I don't even like watching my football team anymore!
Three months of thought, planning - an opportunity to turn it all around and nothing changed. All the same mistakes, nothing picked up by the analysts or the coaches no partnerships just eleven players playing a system that doesn't suit them and they clearly don't like.
Thats the recipe for relegation. I keep hoping for change but if we didn't get it after three months of reflection I can't see it coming for Wednesday. Our only hope, and I'm determined to leave this report on a hope is that at least after a performance this bad we might rip up the book. A hard fought unlucky defeat and we wouldn't have. Come on Eddie - go back to your roots man.