Monday Joke

[Hillviewred]

I went to a gamblers anonymous meeting today.I ended up with sore ribs as the bloke sat next to me was a fruit machine addict,and the sod kept nudging me.

 

[Hillviewred]

The bloke who invented Chinese Whispers has been put in jail,pass it on.

 

[EasternRed]

 

[Garbo]

....My wife told me to stop being so immature....I said just get out of my den!

 

[Hillviewred]

I caught COVID when I was playing cricket,I haven’t picked a bat up since.

 

[afcb_rednblack]

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror I knew it was only a matter of time before I was thrown out of IKEA.

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[Hillviewred]

My mum was complaining that since my dad retired from being a professional umpire,he sits around the house all day,and doesn’t lift a finger

 

[afcb_rednblack]

My doctor has told me to stop drinking.

This is the biggest wrench I’ve had in my life – I’ve been with that doctor for over 20 years.

 

[Red Sky]

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

 

[retro red]

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[danstarr]

A gang has been arrested for making and selling counterfeit Mr. Kipling cherry bakewells. The police said they were exceedingly good fakes.