Non(ish) - Dad Joke

[GaryRB]

The 'ish' being its relation to the clubs choice of song


Neil Diamond makes the same healthy smoothie every morning... Swede, carrots, lime...

 

[wingsnwheels]

Gary, I'm sure you can get help somewhere.

 

[SlowDownDerek]

I just spent £300 on a limousine only to discover that the fee doesn't include a driver. I can't believe I've spent all that money with nothing to chauffeur it.

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[TCherry]

I just spent £300 on a limousine only to discover that the fee doesn't include a driver. I can't believe I've spent all that money with nothing to chauffeur it.

There should be a 'groan' option and not just like or reply...

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[leekeypants]

I ordered a blow up doll from a local sex shop, it came with real hair and several orifices. When I inflated it I noticed it had a puncture and wouldn't stay up.
I phoned the guy in the shop and said "You charged me £150 for a blow up doll and it keeps going down on me" He said if he knew it could do that he would have charged me £500"

 

[Sweetcherrity]

I ordered a blow up doll from a local sex shop, it came with real hair and several orifices. When I inflated it I noticed it had a puncture and wouldn't stay up.
I phoned the guy in the shop and said "You charged me £150 for a blow up doll and it keeps going down on me" He said if he knew it could do that he would have charged me £500"

As there isn't a 'groan' emoji option!

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[Hillviewred]

Last time I eat vegan cheese late at night.I had to endure three long lectures in my sleep

 

[Hillviewred]

For Sale bottles of sauce
H P available

 

[Hillviewred]

My Welsh mate said he is going to be charged with having oral sex with a sheep,I said are you sure they are not trying to pull the wool over your eyes

 

[Hillviewred]

I can't tell you the length of time I've been waiting in this watch repair shop

 

[Druss_the_Legend]

What do you call Batman when he keeps skipping sunday service?

Christian Bale...

 

[GaryRB]

If I owned a German car dealership in Texas I would definitely call it “Audi Partner”...

 

[OLDSKOOL]

I’ve just booked my first trip of the year - I’m off to Iceland in February- if it goes well hopefully I’ll be off to Asda in March and Sainsbury’s in April .

 

[Lord Snooty]

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
One is a large marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift....

 

[danstarr]

To cheer myself up I've ordered brand new walking boots & socks, walking poles, a new rucksack, a thick woolly hat, matching waterproof trousers and jacket, a new tartan thermos flask and...








Sorry, I'm rambling!

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[thegazzyb]

View attachment 4811

That is VERY good !
Thanks for sharing Tuckton !