Player Limericks

[Lord Snooty]

On a previous thread...no idea which blinking one...bit fuddled and all that etc...anyway on a previous thread some of us started composing some dashed fine limericks about our players.
So I implore you.
To cheer ourselves up in the circumstance of our Championship mini slump:
Let’s bloody well compose some limericks and bally well lift our spirits.

I am happy to start off proceedings.

Ahem.
(Slight cough)
(Hopefully not a slight wee)
Ahem.
(Again)
(And rather impressively)

There once was a player called Lerma
Whose tackles got firmer and firmer
The Ref booked him once
The Ref booked him twice
‘He’s a b@stard’ young Lerma did murmur.

 

[Ken Baileys Ghost]

We've just signed a player called Wilshere....................


Nope, I'm stumped.

 

[Brian Hutchings]

We bought a lad called McDougal,
Back when the Club was more Frugal.
He played like a Ghost,
and had Margate on toast.
You can look it up on Google !

 

[EasternRed]

We know an old player named Willo
whose hair used to look like a Brillo
one night he did dream
of a giant ice cream
but he found he had eaten his pillow

 

[Red Sky]

We've just signed a player called Wilshere....................


Nope, I'm stumped.

We've re-signed a player called Wilshere,
He started training in December and he’s still here,
There has been some concern,
About his decision to return,
But the truth is he has unpaid bills here

 

[thegazzyb]

We've just signed a player called Wilshere,
He's eager to show off his skills here,
He'll nutmeg you once,
You'll look a right dunce,
Then he'll slide it to King if he's still here.

 

[thegazzyb]

We once had a player named Ofobohr,
He genuinely thought he should play more,
He said, "Hey JT",
"You're not looking at me",
"I am the guy you should go for !"

( allegedly ! )

 

[thegazzyb]

Eddie Howe was once rudely awoken,
By words so desperately spoken,
Through sleepy eyes he could see,
It was his old friend JT,
"F*ck me Ed the sun bed is broken !"

 

[Lord Snooty]

There once was a player called Jack
To The Cherries he chose to go back
To show off his skill
And his passing at will
A genius in midfield and Attack!

 

[Les78]

Eddie played players that were lazy
Signing Liverpool rejects was crazy
He was guided by Harry
Like committing Hari Kari
But will the mess be cleared up by J.T ?

 

[afcdibby]

We have a fine player, called Stanislas
Who some think is made of glass
He only gets to play, half a season
He’s injured again is always the reason
When he plays, points we always amass.

 

[thegazzyb]

The lack here is quite hard to take,
So here's one for young Mepham's sake,
He tries his best,
Thumps the badge on his chest,
Whilst waiting for his voice to break.

 

[kirsikka]

There once was a bounder called Snooty
Whose posts were often quite fruity
Nun, nurse or maid
With each he got laid
Cos he had an insatiable appetite for booty