Monday joke.

[stanthevan]

I found a wallet today and as a good Christian, I thought “what would Jesus do?”

So I turned it into wine.

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[redharry]

VAR

 

[redharry]

View attachment 2338

Oh, come on - she got the month right that can't be...........................

 

[northstandmark]

Southampton Football Club

 

[tucktoncherry]

 

[OLDSKOOL]

This morning on the way to work somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me .
Luckily I only suffered superfishoil injuries...

 

[Garbo]

....."You know I hate people who take drugs.........like Police and Customs Officers!"

 

[Neil Dawson]

A policeman stopped me for doing 80 in a 30 today, gave me a funny handshake and asked me what lodge I belong to.

I said Yates..... and am now awaiting sentence...

 

[johnycarper]

Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the river Thames in London.........
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you ca...n be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it"......''Well,' said the big Croc, What have you been eating"...?
"Politicians, same as you", replied the small Croc, 'And I can tell you how I catch them in the car park next to Parliament.....
I crawl up under one of their posh cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the **************** out of them, and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See by the time you finish shaking the **************** out of a politician, there's nothing left but an ******************************** and a briefcase....