Saturday Joke
- Thread starter EasternRed
- Start date
AFCB Ironman
First Team
AFCB Ironman
First Team
afcb_rednblack
UTC Legend
A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .
"I vish to buy sex viz you."
"Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."
Helmut agrees.
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant zat you tie zese bed springs to each of your hans und knees."
The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.
"Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."
This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
"You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."
She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).
But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it's several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"
"Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique.
"I vish to buy sex viz you."
"Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."
Helmut agrees.
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant zat you tie zese bed springs to each of your hans und knees."
The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.
"Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."
This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
"You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."
She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).
But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it's several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"
"Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique.
EasternRed
First Team
AFCB Ironman
First Team
tucktoncherry
Star Player
AFCB Ironman
First Team
kens pound
New Signing
Missing Wife
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
OFFICER: Age?
Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 30 and 40. We don't do birthdays .
OFFICER: Height?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
OFFICER : Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
OFFICER : Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
OFFICER : Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.
OFFICER : What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?
Husband : A 2020, pearl white Dodge Ram Limited 4X4 manufactured September 16th, with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, LED lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
OFFICER: Age?
Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 30 and 40. We don't do birthdays .
OFFICER: Height?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
OFFICER : Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
OFFICER : Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
OFFICER : Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.
OFFICER : What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?
Husband : A 2020, pearl white Dodge Ram Limited 4X4 manufactured September 16th, with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, LED lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
AFCB Ironman
First Team
tucktoncherry
Star Player
RobTrent
UTC Legend
Way to go. Apparently taking the piss out of a kid has gone viral.
Which ones?
RobTrent
UTC Legend
;-)
AFCB Ironman
First Team
SuperAliSantos
Reserves
It looks like NFT prices are currently in dire straits.
Get your monkey for nothing, get your chimps for free.
Get your monkey for nothing, get your chimps for free.
Manchester City celebrated their fourth Premier League title in five years in spectacular style on Monday as fans thronged the streets of the city
The players and staff, decked in City's sky blue and holding the Premier League trophy aloft, waved at fans from an open top bus as confetti rained down and blue smoke flares were lit along the route.
Soccer-Champions Manchester City paint town blue with open top bus parade (msn.com)
