Techie help please

Make them wave their wallets under your letterbox four times before letting them in to add authenticity points
 
Don't forget to hang a towel over the top of the screen so it limits your view to 50% of the pitch for that real AFCB matchday experience

Brilliant.

Also leave the windows open, see if you can get one of your kids to scream abuse every time Zaha gets the ball and another one to whinge at Franno everytime he makes the slightest error. Is there a gormless teen in the extended family who can charge you 7.50 for a pie that appears to be cold on the outside but has an inside that can blister the skin off your lip in 2 seconds while you look for the one bit of meat in it.
 
the amazon helpdesk will be overloaded in 30 days time with oldies trying to navigate their way thru the maze of attempting to unsubscribe from prime..... u heard it here first

yes @glenmorangie ...... you'll be one of them no doubt ;-)
 
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