The Phantom Farter [Non - Obviously]

I think we need to know something. If the Phantom Farter is intending to go to Everton next week, can he please declare himself and tell us now. Car or coach, Coach Number and block of seats at Goodison would be useful, so we can set up a cordon and total exclusion zone. Use a nom-de-plume, or should I say a nom-de-fume, if you wish. But spare a thought for your unfortunate neighbours who’ll have sat for six hours in a cramped car or coach to get to Liverpool before wantonly guffing them out into Stanley Park, where they will easily be picked off by inebriated Scousers.
 
Dear Phantom Farter,

Thank you for joining us in Block 7 yesterday for what I hope you found was an enjoyable afternoon. I'm sure your friends in the Steve Fletcher Stand miss you however, and would be glad to know you've returned there for the rest of the season.

Once is enough, dear God!
 
Cherriess said:
Is that where it came from? I thought it might be Senesi as he gave out a little smile and a wink to the crowd before the stinker came.
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Ooh!! Did it smell of Argentinian corned beef and branston pickle?
I just love the thought of him having bad wind and dropping one when marking someone for a corner kick and saying “chew on that”.
 
I know people have always said Argentinian footballers are dirty, but didn't think they were referring to their underwear...
 
afcdibby said:
Ooh!! Did it smell of Argentinian corned beef and branston pickle?
I just love the thought of him having bad wind and dropping one when marking someone for a corner kick and saying “chew on that”.
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Well he was warming up. Smelt more like yesterday's curry.
 
Rob151060 said:
I think we need to know something. If the Phantom Farter is intending to go to Everton next week, can he please declare himself and tell us now. Car or coach, Coach Number and block of seats at Goodison would be useful, so we can set up a cordon and total exclusion zone. Use a nom-de-plume, or should I say a nom-de-fume, if you wish. But spare a thought for your unfortunate neighbours who’ll have sat for six hours in a cramped car or coach to get to Liverpool before wantonly guffing them out into Stanley Park, where they will easily be picked off by inebriated Scousers.
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Perhaps Everton should hire the phantom at the end of the season, position the person on the pitch as soon as the whistle goes to deter pitch invaders.
 
afcdibby said:
Ooh!! Did it smell of Argentinian corned beef and branston pickle?
I just love the thought of him having bad wind and dropping one when marking someone for a corner kick and saying “chew on that”.
Click to expand...
Possibly a new training ground tactic to defend corners. Get him in the packed penalty box, drop one as the ball comes in, all the opposition drop like flies, ball cleared successfully!! (our lads would be used to it, having faced it every practice session, and knowing what's coming , all hold their breath!!)
 
sarfender said:
Possibly a new training ground tactic to defend corners. Get him in the packed penalty box, drop one as the ball comes in, all the opposition drop like flies, ball cleared successfully!! (our lads would be used to it, having faced it every practice session, and knowing what's coming , all hold their breath!!)
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Don't think you're getting a sniff of the goal today sonny, a sniff of my fart is all you're getting.
 
I would suggest if you really want to track down the culprit then turn up at the Firky shed this Saturday around midday. A couple of pints of Paul's Old wrinkly scrotum can really generate some foul gaseous material.
 
The Phantom Farter of old Boscombe Town was lingering in the worst sense near us in Block 11 of the NS on Saturday… proper rotten egg/sulphur waft .
Bad .
And the lad next to me smelt of an open landfill site in the height of summer .
In keeping with the stench of our performance.
Unfortunately, our ST mates in the seat next to us have not been to a single game this season - they appear to have given their seats up …. I hope they are ok .
 
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