Watering the pitch

[fritter]

Fans left confused by the same thing while watching Bournemouth vs Man Utd as 'ridiculous' claim made

Manchester United fans have been left confused by one aspect of their ongoing away clash against Bournemouth at the Vitality Stadium.

www.sportbible.com

It seems a story out of nothing, the reference to a swimming pool and the ball sticking doesn't seem rooted in any reality

 

[corfe_red]

International players cannot play on wet pitch shocker.............

 

[redharry]

Any old excuse for a crap performance.

 

[DJ]

Low level camera. Low level sun for the evening game, just meant the light hit the water so it was more noticeable.

It’s like those who think we have a tiny pitch but someone like Bristol City have one a lot bigger.

 

[dragonm8]

Last missus claimed her ex had one a lot bigger.

But she was a dwarf, so she never looked down on anyone

 

[fritter]

A tiny pitch. Like when Kevin Bond narrowed the pitch to outfox the opposition.

 

[Neil Dawson]

It was the little globules of water in the referees whistle they should be concentrating on and thankful to

 

[northstandmark]

Football content for the social media age where people don't actually go and watch football matches.

 

[dragonm8]

It's so Lewis Cook has an actual reason for falling over every game

 

[MB1980]

Low level camera. Low level sun for the evening game, just meant the light hit the water so it was more noticeable.

It’s like those who think we have a tiny pitch but someone like Bristol City have one a lot bigger.

Yeah and old Wembley pitch being massive.

Pespective.

Villa park pitch used to look tiny imo, before they mvoed the camera years back.

 

[Red_till_im_ded]

I think Man Utd have more deeper concerns than teams watering their pitches. Now where's that grey shirt???

 

[DJ]

Villa park pitch used to look tiny imo, before they mvoed the camera years back.

And then it looked old and tiny?

 

[dragonm8]

Surprised they didn't plant a fake bomb and have it called off at half time.

 

[dragonm8]

And then it looked old and tiny?

Better move our cameras away then?

 

[MB1980]

Thing is, although not overly important for the game itself I guess, it has caused issues when trying to recruit elite level masterbating dwarves for our half time entertainment.

As with a lot of top end celebrities they can be very particular about things. And they need guarentees that the cameras are aligned at certain angles, to present them at the optimum angle.

Guess we could dig our heals in, but then you may have comprimise on the quality of dwarves that are willing to perform.

Can't remember which game now, may have a recent Rochdale game. Obviously they can't afford top tier dwares, and it ended in disappointment, when one of them pulled a testical muscle, and had to be wheeled off in tears, whilst the crowd groaned and looked around in sheer disbelief. TBF, the catering crew did walk on and squirt a load of cream from one of those aersol cans. Buts it not quite the same.

On that note, I read that apparently in our new physio room, amongst all the high tech rehabilition machines, we do have market leading testical massager, which looks a little like a vice, with egg cup holders attached, to help maintain the dwarves fitness/health. It also has a heating mechanism (similar technology and diagnostic monitoring tools to those used on F1 tyres) to warm all private parts up to optimum temperature before their performance,. With that feature it does command an eye watering fee of £79,999, but for the price it comes with premium quality removable velvet pouches for the testicle holder component, which I've been assured feels very nice indeed.

 

[RobTrent]

Load of bollox

 

[Topfarrier]

It's obviously a tactic we use to ensure the ball holds up when we play those balls over the opposing FB.....one of the perks of playing at home tbf....no different to the likes of warnock leaving the grass long to stop the better teams passing.