The AFCB Snootsworth Advent Calendar 2021

A cold dark morning lit up by the warmth of our little Advent Calendar.
Time for our 16th window chums!
But hark what be this?
One of the great joys of Christmas is the delightful food we eat.
And behind our window today is our esteemed manager.
Scott Parker was recently asked about pigs in blankets at a Yuletide press conference.

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Here are Scott’s comments:

“Yeah you know them pigs in blankets,it’s an interesting one.
Obviously you want them pigs to be nice and tight inside your blanket.
You want them blankets to give you the coverage what you know they can give you in the normal course of a dinner but sometimes the pigs…they don’t perform what you’d like them to.

You have them sausages what are the pigs that you is using and they’re not quite as plump as you would want or hold their shape like what they done in the past. And sometimes they’re not fried or grilled the way you want them to be and then what you’ve got is anxiousness because you is suddenly thinking the sausage is not going to get in tight.
And you is pushing the sausage into the blanket and things isn’t working and you is getting frustrated. And then this stressfulness spreads to you and them bacon slices (what are the blankets) and you is thinking people aren’t seeing coverage of the pig from the actual bacon.

You know the bacon slices you might have used in the last dinner is not reacting in the way you wanted them to react and that’s causing problems and then the bacon slices might be dry and the blanketing over them sausages is not what you wanted to be but you’ve got to move on.
You know them things happen in life and we is all on this journey and you learn that maybe them blankets aren’t to be or them sausages ain’t going to finish off as you planned. But you has to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on cos them sort of things give you strength and you move forward and this pigs in blankets thing makes you a stronger unit.

It’s something we done on a few occasions and we all know that we’ve all got to approach it sometime in our lives you know…because once you’ve got through the pigs in blankets you’re moving on again.
Things is always moving on in life so you’re going onto the sprouts and you know you want them sprouts to be boiled perfectly because if them sprouts isn’t boiled perfectly it’s cos you is suddenly thinking of the pigs in blankets and what didn’t go right for you.

And in a stressful way it sort of comes back onto you…yeah….because after them sprouts you is thinking of the big prize and that’s the turkey and you want your turkey to be top quality and that turkey’s gotta give you what you’ve put into it and if it doesn’t you’re gonna be disappointed and it could therefore lead all back to the pigs in blankets where the pigs have not been tight in the blankets and what was what you thought was going to happen hasn’t happened.

And then of course the turkey turns out to be a big disappointment and we can’t afford to let that happen this season and this is why we are working hard on what we think the sausages might need to get them into them bacon blankets.
Yeah naturally some of them blankets might need help and alright it’s not coming through every time you is cooking but we is gradually improving and I’m sure that you know at the end of the dinner a good turkey will be had thanks to the foundations what is them pigs in blankets and what we done.”
:tophat:
 
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Sorry Roger said:
Loved it! Thanks your Lordship.
Click to expand...
Lord Snooty said:
A cold dark morning lit up by the warmth of our little Advent Calendar.
Time for our 16th window chums!
But hark what be this?
One of the great joys of Christmas is the delightful food we eat.
And behind our window today is our esteemed manager.
Scott Parker was recently asked about pigs in blankets at a Yuletide press conference.

View attachment 6860

Here are Scott’s comments:

“Yeah you know them pigs in blankets,it’s an interesting one.
Obviously you want them pigs to be nice and tight inside your blanket.
You want them blankets to give you the coverage what you know they can give you in the normal course of a dinner but sometimes the pigs…they don’t perform what you’d like them to.

You have them sausages what are the pigs that you is using and they’re not quite as plump as you would want or hold their shape like what they done in the past. And sometimes they’re not fried or grilled the way you want them to be and then what you’ve got is anxiousness because you is suddenly thinking the sausage is not going to get in tight.
And you is pushing the sausage into the blanket and things isn’t working and you is getting frustrated. And then this stressfulness spreads to you and them bacon slices (what are the blankets) and you is thinking people aren’t seeing coverage of the pig from the actual bacon.

You know the bacon slices you might have used in the last dinner is not reacting in the way you wanted them to react and that’s causing problems and then the bacon slices might be dry and the blanketing over them sausages is not what you wanted to be but you’ve got to move on.
You know them things happen in life and we is all on this journey and you learn that maybe them blankets aren’t to be or them sausages ain’t going to finish off as you planned. But you has to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on cos them sort of things give you strength and you move forward and this pigs in blankets thing makes you a stronger unit.

It’s something we done on a few occasions and we all know that we’ve all got to approach it sometime in our lives you know…because once you’ve got through the pigs in blankets you’re moving on again.
Things is always moving on in life so you’re going onto the sprouts and you know you want them sprouts to be boiled perfectly because if them sprouts isn’t boiled perfectly it’s cos you is suddenly thinking of the pigs in a blankets and what didn’t go right for you.

And in a stressful way it sort of comes back onto you…yeah….because after them sprouts you is thinking of the big prize and that’s the turkey and you want your turkey to be top quality and that turkey’s gotta give you what you’ve put into it and if it doesn’t you’re gonna be disappointed and it could therefore lead all back to the pigs in blankets where the pigs have not been tight in the blankets and what was what you thought was going to happen hasn’t happened.

And then of course the turkey turns out to be a big disappointment and we can’t afford to let that happen this season and this is why we are working hard on what we think the sausages might need to get them into them bacon blankets.
Yeah naturally some of them blankets might need help and alright it’s not coming through every time you is cooking but we is gradually improving and I’m sure that you know at the end of the dinner a good turkey will be had thanks to the foundations what is them pigs in blankets and what we done.”
:tophat:
Click to expand...
You really do know how he finks Your Lordship.
 
davidwhitehead said:
As mentioned yesterday, any chance of digging up classic Snootsworth Calendars from the past ?
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Lovely of you to suggest Whiters…but I have no original copies of my entries (so to speak.)
They just get posted on here and that’s it!
It depends what sort of archive admin has on here I guess….
 
Wonderful Snoot’s old bean, you never let us down.

I trust that Snootsworth Towers has a large erection ....... all pleasantly decorated with baubles and tinsel of course Bday
 
 
 
As ever chums, so appreciative of your support. :loser:
Can you believe it’s our 17th Advent window?
Time passes and Christmas is now truly on the horizon!
As we peer through our iced up pane today we return to poor old Jason Tindall.
Our well groomed and preened ex manager is having a crisis in freezing cold Newcastle as his precious tan is beginning to fade rapidly.
Jason has now had to take extreme measures to preserve his bronzed skin:
:eek!:










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Lord Snooty said:
As ever chums, so appreciative of your support. :loser:
Can you believe it’s our 17th Advent window?
Time passes and Christmas is now truly on the horizon!
As we peer through our iced up pane today we return to poor old Jason Tindall.
Our well groomed and preened ex manager is having a crisis in freezing cold Newcastle as his precious tan is beginning to fade rapidly.
Jason has now had to take extreme measures to preserve his bronzed skin:
:eek!:










View attachment 6876
Click to expand...
:grinning: looks a little like Phil Bill...
 
The 18th of December.
And an arduous trip for our chaps and supporters to Middlesbrough.
By Jove they need something to warm the freezing cockles of their hearts.
As we open the Advent calendar window for today I have just the thing.
Our famous good luck charm of NNM!

Tis fair to say our NNM talisman has not been overly effective this Yuletide…so to add even more luck for the team today I’ve added a delighted Christmas twist.
Those who might be offended look away now as here comes our festive NNM!

NUNS!
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NURSES!
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MAIDS!
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COME ON YOU CHERRYBOYS!!!!!!!!!
:tophat:
 
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