Ho ho ho chums!
Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without Lee Bradbury’s annual Yuletide card to the club.
So on this 8th day of Advent let us open our window to read Lee’s card:
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FAO: Mr Andone CocaCola,
Hello Andy!
Itss mee Eel.
Eel Blueberry.
You downt mined me cawling yoo Andy do yoo?
Wen I seee yoo on tv yoo remined mee of a yung Seve BagofSpearmints the famus Spanish golferr.
Yoo is dooing well good at ABC Bornmuff.
Hav yoo herd of mee?
I am Eel and I wass champion bockser at Deen Caught.
I wass also a soljer, player annd manijer.
I wass dead goood two.
Unfortyounatelee I losst my larst jobb as manijer of Eastleigh.
I putt it down sumwhere and I haven’t been Abel to find it agen!
Tee hee
Mum ses have I putt it under the bedd?
The fanns at Eastleigh wer not that nyce to me tho and sed I cowdnt manij a paper bag…butt I CANN! So long as it’s not tied at the topp.
Andy noww ime not a manijer, i am acting as a coach.
A train coach.
Choo chooo.
Mumm gets annoyed wiv me charging round the howse choo chooing and letting off steem.
Wiv all the bayked beens I eat ime bound to let off steem! Ha ha.
I have also bin acting as a consultant to a nummmber off clubs.
Wags nightclub in Southampton is my faverit.
I consult the bloke behinde the barr about the pryce of a pint and then I drink it tee hee!
Seryouslee Andy I am desprit four a jobb.
Wood you or Bill Folly hav me back at ABC?
I cood be putt in charj off umbrella andd flarsk secyouritty perhapps?
Ime allso goood wiv blak paynt.
Or maybee a klub ambarseador?
I cood show visiturs famus sites around the klubb:
The Adam Smiff Scool of drama.
Philip Billing’s leggs
The newly renaymed joonior Stanislas hospital sweet now known as the tyler adams medikal senter.
I cood even werk as a cleener for yoo and tidy upp all the strypes lefft by Scott Parker when hee left.
Yoo seee this krismus Andy ime feeling a bitt lownly.
No wun wantss the likes of mee any moor.
Ime cawled a footbawlingg dinosaur nowadays.
The ownly ‘high press’ I know is when I putt on the tite pair of underpants I downt lyke.
In mi dayy a box to box playerr was a mayt of yoors who was sucksessful pulling girls at the disco.
I keeep myself fromm being board bye riting my noo book:
‘Lee Bradbury, A Life’
Trubble iss I hav no idea hoo this Lee Bradbury bloke is.
Anyway Andy if yoo neeed mee for anyfing justt let me no!
Mum ses my chiken nuggits and chipps are reddy so ile bid yoo goodbye…orr shood I say ‘au Renoir’ wot wiv yoo beeing spanish tee hee.
Happy krismus to won and awl.
Luv
Leee xxxxxx
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Always!
