The AFCB Snootsworth Advent Calendar 2021

And so chums on to the 6th day of our cosy Advent Calendar.:santa:
As we open our window, Christmas lights are beginning to adorn houses in our street.
It’s about this time we delve into our loft to find our deccies and as we search for tinsel & baubles we find all manner of forgotten things.

But Christmas can also be a spooky time, a time of unsettling occurrences.:rolleyes:
Our skipper for example, Steve Cook, went up to his loft last week to bring down the Christmas decorations and whilst there discovered some old camcorder film of himself on holiday as a 10 year old.
He played it and joshed with his family…but he should have taken more notice…for this old film, in a strange way, was almost warning Cookers about the Fulham game…:eek:





 
Lord Snooty said:
We open our third frosty window thinking of tonight’s wintry clash against league leaders Fulham.
As we shiver in the cold we this could be difficult as we are down to our bare bones.
Nine injured players beegads!
But chums we have something that is devilishly powerful, something damned magical, something that can help us rise up against all the odds.
Our very own good luck charm:
NNM!
Look away now if you’re likely to be upset for here is our potent omen!

NUNS!

View attachment 6775


NURSES!

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MAIDS!

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COME ON YOU CHERRYBOYS!!!!!!! :tophat:
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That perky Nurse is up for fun,
With a very long tit and a short un,
To make up for that,
She has a ferkin great tw@t ,
And a fart like an 850 Norton !
 
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Can you believe we’ve had our first week of the Advent calendar?
A stormy day ahead as we open our 7th window.
But lo what lies beneath?
As you may recall a few years ago AFCB players had a dog walking club where players would meet with their mutts and go for a walk together on the beach.
Well the dog walking club has been revived.
Here are the new doggie members!

Mark Traver’s dog:
B45BCF5C-F426-424D-87AF-81D5D022971A.jpeg
Junior Stanislas’s dog:
83807065-9A4A-4C78-9576-BF8991650266.jpeg

Adam Smith’s dog (Looking for a free kick in this picture)
1F8609B0-788F-48C6-BDE1-9319A37399DE.jpeg

Fletch’s dog:
708192BC-2626-4B0F-9AC8-21A9D980A45D.jpeg

Scott Parker’s dog:
0BD1C9CA-7488-4A5A-ABF4-0F95A457480A.jpeg

Ben Pearson’s dog:
13519C78-33B6-48FC-AD74-19A29AF5B017.jpeg

:tophat:
 
Lord Snooty said:
Can you believe we’ve had our first week of the Advent calendar?
A stormy day ahead as we open our 7th window.
But lo what lies beneath?
As you may recall a few years ago AFCB players had a dog walking club where players would meet with their mutts and go for a walk together on the beach.
Well the dog walking club has been revived.
Here are the new doggie members!

Mark Traver’s dog:
View attachment 6791
Junior Stanislas’s dog:
View attachment 6792

Adam Smith’s dog (Looking for a free kick in this picture)
View attachment 6793

Fletch’s dog:
View attachment 6794

Scott Parker’s dog:
View attachment 6795

Ben Pearson’s dog:
View attachment 6797

:tophat:
Click to expand...
:clap: top work Snoots, how you brighten up these dreary December mornings !
 
Lord Snooty said:
Can you believe we’ve had our first week of the Advent calendar?
A stormy day ahead as we open our 7th window.
But lo what lies beneath?
As you may recall a few years ago AFCB players had a dog walking club where players would meet with their mutts and go for a walk together on the beach.
Well the dog walking club has been revived.
Here are the new doggie members!

Mark Traver’s dog:
View attachment 6791
Junior Stanislas’s dog:
View attachment 6792

Adam Smith’s dog (Looking for a free kick in this picture)
View attachment 6793

Fletch’s dog:
View attachment 6794

Scott Parker’s dog:
View attachment 6795

Ben Pearson’s dog:
View attachment 6797

:tophat:
Click to expand...
Hilarious Snoots! Brilliant!
 
Lord Snooty said:
Can you believe we’ve had our first week of the Advent calendar?
A stormy day ahead as we open our 7th window.
But lo what lies beneath?
As you may recall a few years ago AFCB players had a dog walking club where players would meet with their mutts and go for a walk together on the beach.
Well the dog walking club has been revived.
Here are the new doggie members!
:tophat:
Click to expand...

Brilliant, nothing like a few nice doggie pics to start the day !
Oh, that didn't come out quite how I intended :oops:
Thanks again for a superb effort your Lordship.
 
wingsnwheels said:
I have absolutely no idea who it could be! I'm told it's short and stinks of haggis! Oh just got it! :poop:
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Te he! is that the one who is back with Eddie now (question mark, full stop) IMHO he had lost his marbles when he said he could have gotten us promo if he had been picked to play.
UTC
 
Such lovely comments chums that add lustre and sheen to the Advent calendar.
So pray what lurks behind our 8th window?
Why tis the book of old AFCB Christmas customs:

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Lots of these date back many years but still persist to today’s festivities.

One of the more common customs is for the AFCB ticket office to throw all ticketing information into a huge Yuletide fire and proceed each day leading up to Christmas to bamboozle supporters by cocking up their ticket orders. Another one of their traditions is to build long chains of telephone callers who are put on hold for as long as possible. This causes much mirth and joy for all involved.

The traditional Christmas party for players is held every year and consists of large amounts of food and drink being consumed by the aforementioned professionals. The yard of Christmas ale challenge is always contested but no one is ever likely to beat the historic mile of ale consumed by ex player Donal McDermott. Only one player ever missed his mouth attempting the yard of ale and that was Benik Afobe.

Another custom is that each year a player has to dress up as Father Christmas and distribute presents to underprivileged children. This is always popular and usually proves to be a great success however in the past there have been odd problems. Such as Scott Malone keeping all the presents for himself as he felt he wasn’t being paid enough by the club. When Chris Mepham dressed up as Santa last year he got lost and ended up giving out presents at a party of estate agents.

The elf on the shelf tradition holds strong at the club and Ryan Fraser holds the record for being the longest elf on the shelf. He stayed on the shelf doing nothing for ages the greedy little git.

The old custom of Party games still continues at the club with ‘pin the tail on the donkey’ still popular. Recently old strikers such as Derek Holmes & Wes Morgan have been invited back to have tails attached to them.
Then there’s hide and seek. During our last year in The Premier League Callum Wilson was the champion. He hid himself at Christmas time and went missing till the end of the season.

Of course the staff love pulling crackers and Chief Executive Neil Blake is particularly fond of pulling young nubile Russian ones.

And finally the much loved AFCB Christmas gingerbread house which is designed each year by a player at the club. Philip Billing has been responsible this time and although these baked delicacies are usually difficult to eat, his gingerbread house is apparently elegant, thin and relatively easy to tackle.
:tophat:Bday:santa:
 
I am hoping that Christmas traditions will be upheld and we will get to see a very uncomfortable Scott Parker having to stand next to the enthusiastic carol singers at the stadium as poor Mr Howe had to endure.
 
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