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Who else amongst this elite group saw SAHB at Boscombe Ballrooms in '71?

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Johnny slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Johnny what's wrong. "Well," replies Johnny, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well,"...

Well it is an elite forum after all....

This is dreadful. Complete disregard for the lower league clubs and their fans.

I thought that City had some of the cheapest STs in the PL..

I hope Brian hasn't flounced. The obsessive elitism nonsense I could do without of course, but most of the time he's quite amusing and he's entitled to air his opinions.

I reserve my stock of boos for the return of the wee turd.

Bob: This chainsaw you sold me is rubbish. Dave: What's wrong with it? Bob: You told me it could cut down 10 trees an hour. I've only managed one with it. Dave: Give it here, let's start it up and have a look. Bob: What's that noise?

You'll have baffled half the current fan base mentioning S0D!

Not rigorous enough really - who knows what could be hidden under a toupee..?

I've been with the AA for about 28 years and am fed up having to argue the toss over their annual increases. Green Flag looked promising at about half the price for the same level of cover -until I read they don't cover vehicles over 16 years old. Mine is 17. As Unlucky Alf would say, "Oh...

I rather like our current badge, it just needs a slight tweak to relocate the ear

The club should stage a minutes applause before the Tuesday game to make up for yesterday's bungled and ill publicised 69th minute applause - which didn't happen.

A parish priest in Glasgow hired a local man to paint the front of his church. The painter to squeeze a little more profit watered the paint down and completed the job. All was well until heavy rain washed the paint from wall. When the parish priest met up with the painter they sorted out they...

Luke Littler should be asked to fire our next Trident test missile, he has a better aim than the Royal Navy

Officer: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar made of antlers. Detective: Dear God! Officer: Most likely, yes

I hope and expect the club have a moment's applause for him on Sunday.

The wife rang me at work and said she's just bought this bargain coat from eBay. Originally it was £400 but she got it for just £25. She said it was supposed to be slightly imperfect but she's had a look all over and the only thing she can find wrong is one sleeve is slightly longer than the...